“Is it true?” she asked me, her voice a higher pitch than her normal, sultry alto. A tremble gyrated in her vocal cords.
My stomach squeezed and flopped. “Yes, but I have no choice. I want no part in it. I want to be with you, Martha,” I confessed . I felt significantly lighter after expressing that aloud, as though some of the weight of my burden lifted from the depths of my very soul. Still, fear churned in me at the knowledge that only the Reaper's unyielding hand could free me from the impending doom that winked at me from the near future. Nothing on Earth or in Heaven or Hell would allow me the only thing I wanted: to live with Martha as a married couple. I could never openly love another woman..."
To keep reading this work, buy it here at Amazon.
I bought this story precisely because it is a short story, one which I could read easily in a sitting. The aim of any short story, in my opinion, is to deliver as much possible impact and imagery into the mind of the reader in a bid to garner an emotional reaction therefrom -- all without having the benefits of lengthy character and plot development afforded to a novel.
In that aim, this story is successful, overall. The vivid, dramatic prose is infused with high levels of emotion and the intricate details of the character's interactions, which has the effect of making the reader almost physically react to what the embattled lovers are going through. The description of the setting and the tactile experiences of the characters in it is similarly rich, bringing to life in the mind's eye the microcosm of this brief tale.
That being said, I felt this story was guilty of a bit of 'telling' rather than showing, notably by repeatedly emphasizing how doomed the lovers are and how cruel is the world in which they live, something that -- at least to my perspective -- took away somewhat from letting the reader feel the tragedy through the characters themselves and the unfolding of the story.
Likewise, the prose could use a bit of fine-tuning in places for minor errors like word repetition and a handful of common grammatical mistakes, and I feel the story would be of greater impact overall if the minor characters were fleshed out a bit more. But certainly, especially given the modest price, this tale is worth a look if you enjoy unrepentantly emotive accounts of forbidden love.
Connect with author Brandy Owens:
Twitter: @wordsandstars
Blog: http://wordsandstars.wordpress.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment